What a sneaky heifer you are, BurdaStyle! Right when I think you’ve done everything possible to push me away, you come up with the Honeymooners patterns.

I’m not even a honeymooner, and I surely wouldn’t wear a bikini top with a boucle jacket and a pair of cuffed shorts (wait, what?!).

But something about these patterns, and the pants below–I want them–makes me not want to break up with you so much. Maybe I looked too hard at Mr. Nautical Stripes’ nautical stripes. Mayhaps he knows juju.

And Clear Beads here ain’t too shabby either. I could have that skirt. It could be mine.

I even like the Beachside Beauty collection, particularly the dress below (though the collection name makes me want to vomit and burn a bra simultaneously a little).

Yet, having said all of that, I miss the fashion-forward patterns of old with all of their couture details. They inspired me and scared the angry cats out of me, but I loved them. I miss them.

That is to say, these patterns of late are not them. Maybe you recognized that many of your visitors are novice seamstresses like myself. Maybe you’re trying to engage us by beating us over the head with different iterations of the same relatively basic patterns. I don’t know, but I miss having something to aspire to.