IKEA Trusts You

Well, the rumors are true.  IKEA has a fabric department–it is, of course, a home decor fabric department, but potato pajama pants, you know?

I blame the Ulla Bella Girls (pictured below) as their siren song called me out of my house, down the freeway, and figuratively down the rabbit hole.

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With absence, you forget how labyrinthine IKEA is.  No matter.  Shortly after I arrived, and after cutting through the maze with the cunning and dexterity of a Jedi Knight, I found myself in the fabric department.

First things first, this was IKEA.  It should not surprise anyone that almost all of the material was cotton.  I have a lukewarm love of cotton so impressed I was not.  But the array of prints, outside of your local fabric store’s quilting section, was visually engaging.

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That being said, there was something missing.  So, we’ve got fabric . . . what else is there?  Oh, right!  Someone to cut the fabric!

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Turns out, IKEA believes sewers are honest people.  So you go ahead and pull that bolt out.  Yeah, cut that fabric, lady.  Take one of those slips–yes, there in the cup there–and measure and mark how much fabric you’ve got.

And when you check out, don’t be alarmed if the cashier doesn’t inspect the fabric when she enters your slip’s info into her POS machine.  She knows you.  She got you, girl.

SIDEBAR: As I stood at the self-serve fabric cutting station, I thought about the Ulla Bella Girls.  All this time I’d been wondering about them, and when I finally get to IKEA to check ’em out, all that’s left is the display fabric.  Bee tee dubs, can I just snatch the display fabric?  Is there someone I can ask about–right, SELF-serve.

Oh, IKEA . . . just as idealistic as the college kids who shop your stores. MAAAALM.  Just wanted to type that.

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